11 Tips on How to MOVE ON from your EX - Mushy Zaini

11 Tips on How to MOVE ON from your EX

January 29, 2020


I’ve been asking my Instagram followers about their ideas for my post and this one girl’s idea really make me want to do since #ytjt I had a very heartbroken experience in the last year. Since #ytjt, so not many of my friends and followers know that I had a new express boyfriend in the last year. I won’t explain how and why we broke up since this is not the main idea for this post. But, I would like to share with you on how to move on from your ex!

THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT. 
WE (GIRLS/boys) MUST KNOW OUR WORTH. 

First of all, I bravely share these tips for you since I already experienced it before, so trust me. You will get better.
Second, don’t expect you will successfully moving on just click in one second after you read this post. 
Third, you must really understand that wounds need time to heal. 

11 TIPS TO MOVE ON!

1. BLOCK HIS/HER CONTACT

If you play twitter, they would say, “budak-budak je main block block ex lepas broke up”. Listen, peeps, blocking your partner in socmed doesn’t mean you are childish. Doesn’t mean you are a kid. And doesn’t mean you are immature. Blocking his account and number just to give yourself time to heal, to avoid yourself from stalking and to avoid from receiving any kind of immature reason from him/playing victim so on. Bak kata orang, luka dah ada takkan nak tambah lagi dengan luka baru. So please avoid if you can or just block! Don’t waste your time for someone that only take you for granted.

2. DELETE ALL THE PICTURES TOGETHER

This thing I would recommend if you really sure that he/she really bad vibes for you and you really want to move on. Kalau gaduh gaduh biasa sebab bosan ke apa jangan lah delete. Karang menyesal tak sudah.

3. THROW AWAY OR GIVE BACK THE THINGS

Try to discuss nicely tentang barang-barang yang dia punya or dia bagi in case nak balik ke apa. Yela, bercinta ni menggunakan wang. So, we don’t know how much effort that your partner put on the thing he bought for you, so asked nicely. Kalau you still appreciate his effort, just keep it. Kalau tak sanggup sangat, siang malam teringat mandi tak basah tidur asyik menangis. Just throw it if he’s okay. Jangan rasa serba salah nak buang if dia cakap, “ikut lah nak buat apa” sebab decision is yours. Kalau dia ungkit, boleh quotes balik chat tu.

4. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH YOUR FRIENDS

This is sooooo important. And I bet your close friends must know the progress of your relationship kan. So rasanya kawan yang baik adalah kawan yg tak suka tengok kawan dia sedih, tak fokus, muram. So, appreciate effort yg kawan bagi untuk happykan kita. Surround yourself, pergi wayang ke, short trip kemana-mana ke. And if can, jangan cerita selagi hati belum kukuh untuk bercerita.

5. MAKE YOURSELF BUSY

Busykan diri dengan revision kelas, join club or play any sport. Especially if you are still study. Please please please remember, partner boleh cari. Kegagalan sekarang tak boleh bantu result nanti. So stay focus! Azam dalam diri, “aku boleh. Apalah sangat dugaan macamni. Banyak lagi yg teruk aku dah hadapi”

6. STOP LISTENING TO A SAD SONG (DON’T BE DRAMATIC)

Hat ni really focus dekat girls. Tengah tengah malam dengar lagu sedih. Trust me, kalau tak dengar lagu sedih actually korang okay je. Tapi ada lagu sedih tu ibarat ada syaitan peluk suruh kita down, kita terimbau-imbau kembali. So don’t don’t okay. Best idea is tengok running man! Seriously korang gelak je, dah takde nangis nangis.

7. FOR AWHILE STOP VISIT THE SAME PLACE YOU WENT TOGETHER

Kalau boleh dielakkan, kalau tak, takpela. Nak buat guane. Tapi trust me, once you move on. Even pergi tempat yang korang pernah pergi sekali pon, it means nothing. Takde rasa sedih ke teringat ke, so please be strong, trust me it won’t be long.

8. STOP STALKING

This one sangat perlu korang buat. Jangan stalk! Konon nak tengok dengan siapa dia sekarang. Macam mana life dia, or bahagia ke dia tanpa kita. Stopp it okay! Sebab fasa awal awal broken ni memang si partner ni okay je tanpa korg so kalau stalk, nanti lagi sakit hati. Merana, sedih, meroyan. So, takyah stop. Guna phone kawan pon tak payah. Buat hal masing masing je.

9. PRAY FOR THE GOOD THINGS AND BELIEVE YOUR FAITH

This one really really good for you. Mus teringat time broken haritu, sakit hati taktahu nak describe rasa diri macam macam, tak cukup ke aku teruk ke so on, but then I take yaasin and recite it every night before tidur. Alhamdulillah makin lama, positive thinking tu ada, mungkin dia bukan yg terbaik atau mungkin dia bukan milik kita. Mungkin Allah sedang jauhkan dia dari kita, atau mungkin Allah jauhkan kita dari dia. Kalau putus sebab curang, jelas lah siapa salah. Tapi kalau takde sebab? Mungkin sebab bosan mungkin sebab jumpa yang lebih baik, thanks to Allah sebab at least sekarang dia cakap nk putus bila takde ikatan, once dah kawen, cerai tu another cerita pulak. So be thankful for anything yang Allah uji sekarang. Believe in Allah je okay. Orang yang tak percaya Tuhan ada je yang akan cakap, Cliche lah nasihat ni. Ha dah boleh check iman masing masing ok.

10. FORGIVE

Last paling penting, tak aman jugak kalau hidup berdendam. Hidup rasa tak puas hati and so on, try to forgive walaupun sakit. Mungkin maaf kita dapat bantu dia sedar silap dia and maaf kita ni actually boleh buat kita lagi tenang dari sebelumnya. Memang susah, tapi cuba okay? Lama-lama ikhlas tu datang. Jangan kita jadi dendam dengan alasan “dia layak merana or dapat kifarah” sebab sebenarnya dalam kita tak tahu makin kita benci, makin kita xmaafkan selama tu lah kita takkan rasa aman and tenang. Jadi maafkan je okay.

11. IGNORE

Very last one, ignore kalau dia muncul semula. Jangan biar diri hadap luka yang sama. Orang memang boleh berubah. Tapi belum tentu boleh berubah pada orang yang sama. Mungkin dia perlukan pertolongan kita, tolong yang semampunya saja. Kalau rasa dia just ambik kesempatan atas pertolongan sebab nak getback, korang fikir lah sendiri. Lain orang lain tindak tanduk dia, kalau mus once ditinggalkan, forever no more walaupun hanya berkawan.

And for your information, I took almost half year to move on. Menangis siang malam alah tegal biasa orang kata. Berharap? Yes mus berharap adalah sebulan. lama-lama dah sedar diri tu bodo* sebab berharap. Dah move on dengan sempurna. korang mesti faham, tak semua masalah and pergaduhan salah sebelah pihak. ada kalanya sikap kita sendiri yang makan diri. so sama-sama muhasabah.

Tapi, jangan pula cari bapak kambing untuk korang move on. Bercinta dengan orang lain hanya untuk melupakan yang sebelumnya ibarat takde beza korang dengan ex. Take time to heal ALONE. Jangan libatkan orang yg tak bersalah dalam kisah korang.

Budak budak bawah 18 kalau break up tu jangan kecewa sangat. Bak kata twitter, bercinta bawah umur tu cinta monyet kekeke. Tapi kalau dah 20 tahun above putus tu rasanya serious. Sebab masa ni bukan masa kita nak fokus cari orang baru dah. Tapi fokus untuk menghalalkan hubungan yang sedia ada. Jadi pilih lah pasangan yang selevel dengan kita, yang boleh terima baik buruk kita seadanya. 

Trust me, you will be better! 
Xoxo 💘💘

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